RICHMOND, Va. — It doesn't take much for Dr. Anthony Chandler to describe the love of his life.
"She was a brilliant, she was beautiful, she was caring. Above all things she was a phenomenal mother," Dr. Chandler said.
Taleshia Chandler, the mother of three and grandmother, passed away after a courageous battle with breast cancer more than two years ago.
"I took time after she passed to just to continue to grieve and then finally had a moment and I said I want to get it done," Dr. Chandler said.
Dr. Chandler is the pastor of Cedar Street Baptist Church in Richmond. In his new book, "How Cancer Cured Our Covenant", he details Taleshia's seven-year cancer journey through the eyes of the caregiver.
"There's nothing easy about being a caregiver," Chandler said.
In the book, Dr. Chandler keeps it real.
"A lady spoke to me after service and she said, 'Pastor, I love the book, but I thought you may have said too much,' And I said, 'It's out there now,'" Chandler said.
Dr. Chandler is candid about the couple growing apart before Taleshia's diagnosis. Then, their lives changed. Dr. Chandler writes:
"The thought of living without her made me remember why I loved her. God used a chronic illness to save our marriage."
"I wasn't mad at God. I was angry at cancer for how it beat her up," Dr. Chandler said.
In the 2016 CBS 6 interview below, Taleshia talked about her stage four breast cancer. It later metastasized to her brain.
Dr. Chandler writes:
"I lived with the fear of her one day dying. Every day."
In 2022, in spite of her excruciating pain, Taleshia wanted to do what she loved: going on a cruise.
In my heart, I knew she should not have gone on that cruise. I knew she shouldn't but she was so determined to go," Dr. Chandler said.
"I remember praying, 'God, whatever you going to do, just don't do it on this ship,'" Dr. Chandler said.
Four days after the family cruise, Taleshia passed away.
"My dream girl. My wife. The mother of my children. My high school sweetheart has now transitioned. It was a hard moment," Dr. Chandler said.
To help get through, Dr. Chandler is surrounded by a village, his family, church family, and friends. Friends like Bill who he met at a restaurant and who was going through the same situation.
"Bill understood. Every emotion. Every fear," Dr. Chandler said.
Dr. Chandler said caregivers need to keep showing up, pushing through and seeking help.
"If it had not been for my therapy, I don't think I wouldn't have been capable as I was to care for her," Dr. Chandler said.
Pastor Chandler said this time of year is tough because Taleshia loved Christmas.
Caring for a loved one or grieving is a hard process for caregivers.
VCU Massey Comprehensive Center and VCU Health offer support groups to help:
The Caregiver Support Group is an open group and accepts referrals on an on-going basis.
Eligibility criteria: People who are caregivers for an adult patient at Massey or VCU Health
Meeting time: Meets the second Tuesday of every month from 5:30 to 6:30 p.m. (next session is Tuesday, 12/10)
Platform: Zoom, virtual only
What the group offers: Peer support (facilitated by a licensed clinical social worker), some psycho-ed, some guest speakers.
Interested caregivers can send an email to social worker, Kerri Anderson, at kerri.anderson@vcuhealth.org in order to receive the Zoom link.
Additionally, the patient's care team can refer the caregiver internally.
Click here to purchase Dr. Chandler's Book.
CBS 6 is committed to sharing community voices on this important topic. Email your thoughts to the CBS 6 Newsroom.
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